urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved dance, baby, dance amanda 2008-05-27T03:54:46Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:58125 2008-05-27T03:53:05Z 2008-05-27T03:54:46Z God Is Love<br /><br /><br />Soon after the tragedy of the tsunamis in the Indian Ocean, some people began to ask: "How could God allow such massive suffering to happen?" It isn't an easy question to answer. Why is life the way it is? Why do we get ill, old, and die? Why is there divorce? Why are some people violent? Why do children suffer? <br /><br />I have never been satisfied with any answer to these questions. What I do know is that the life in front of us is all that we have. It is not all that we would hope for, and it is not fully comprehensible. Yet life is a wonderful gift, full of possibilities. I'd rather have it as it is than not have it at all. <br /><br />A more educated image might be God as an invisible reality, personal, good, creating and sustaining. But to ask why God would make so many people suffer makes God sound like a human grandfather toying with life from the clouds. What if we were to imagine God, as Thomas Aquinas and many Eastern religions say, as unknown and hidden? Deus absconditus. What if we were to apply the famous words from the Tao Te Ching to our idea of God: "The Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao." What if we were to consider what the great theologian Paul Tillich meant when he spoke of the God beyond theism, or the big-hearted Dietrich Bonhoeffer, when he spoke of living as though God were not a factor, in the presence of God? What about Meister Eckhart saying, "No one knows what God is," or Hildegard of Bingen -- "You are alive in everything and yet you are unknown to us.<br /><br /><br />Perhaps if we didn't anthropomorphize God so much, we would have a different reaction to natural disasters like the tsunamis. We might have an inkling of the divinity hidden in the folds of nature, not a rosey-cheeked grandfather but a mysterious source of life that emanates a world that is complete only with the beauty and fury of nature. We might learn to protect ourselves and perhaps develop a sufficiently mature world community for that purpose. Because life is always going to be a challenge with its grace and its destructiveness. <br /><br />"Anthropomorphize" means to morph God into a human. As Aquinas and other theologians say, we have to use analogies and metaphors to express a portion of our conception of God. But we should be careful not to morph the divinity out of God. We could do a better job with the language we use. It would especially help to get the sentimentality out of it, which makes God a puppet of the human mind. <br /><br />The religions of the world often suggest that God is one but that community is not far away from the essence of the divine. In Buddhism, the sangha or community is essential. In Islam, the community of followers is the heart of the religion with a strong focus on the one God. In polytheism, the divine is imagined as a richly diverse community. And even in Christianity, the image of the Trinity suggests that somehow, mysteriously, God is a community, although at the same time Christians believe ardently in monotheism. If we are fashioned in the image of the divine, if divinity flows through us at an unimaginably subtle depth, then we most reflect the divine when we act in genuine community, with diversity and individuality. <br /><br />In the face of the tsunamis, I don't ask, How could a caring God allow such a dreadful thing? You don't have to be on this earth long before you learn that life is a mixture of tragedy and pleasure. My question is: Are we ever going to become religious enough to transcend our petty personal passions and make the world a real community. Why does the Pacific Ocean have warning instruments for tsunamis and not the Indian Ocean? It's a theological question about community. <br /><br />God is not responsible for the suffering; we are. Compared to our learning in almost all other areas, our notions of religion are childish. Religion is not a club of like-minded pals. It is a way of being that perceives the profound mystery of life, with all its paradoxes and contradictions, and makes an effort to transcend the individual person, discovering ultimately that God is love, what Christians call agape -- the kind of love manifested in community. <br /><br /><br /><br /><br />We are working up a fever making new laws about touching each other in school and in therapy. As many have noted, we're more scandalized by a photograph or painting showing a nipple or a penis than by the image of a child starving on a dry, dusty road or lying shot in the middle of a bombed-out marketplace. <br /><br /><br /><br />The repression of the body and its main work, sex, wounds the soul immeasurably and deprives us of our humanity. Often we refer to sex as "physical love," the work of a soulless body, and then we try to justify this biological act morally by making sure that it's in the service of affection. But the bifurcation of body and soul can't be healed so easily. We have yet to discover that sex is not physical love but the love of souls. You don't have to spiritualize sex to make it valuable, because by its very nature sex is a deep act of the interior life and always brings with it a wealth of emotional and spiritual meaning. <br /><br />Mircea Eliade, the religion scholar, often remarked that the sacred sometimes lies camouflaged in the mundane. As a student of world religions myself, I notice that the positions and organs one sees on the web's erotic pages are identical with the positions and organs beautifully and graphically portrayed on the Indian temples, on Greek pottery, in ancient ritual, and in religious legend and lore. Oddly, pornography is so close to religion that one wonders if it isn't at root an unconscious attempt to preserve the sacredness of sex. Where do you find graphic sexual imagery today? In pornography, in religious ritual and statuary, and in dreams. If we assume that dreams portray the soul's interests in pure form, untainted as they are by conscious manipulation, then they tell of the psyche's necessities and the role of erotic feeling and fantasy in the economy of the heart. Religious erotic art shows us how profound sex is in the nature of things, and how close to religious ecstasy is the pleasing oblivion it grants. Pornography plays the role of providing a symptomatic presentation of erotic realities that have been excluded from our canons of propriety.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />thomas moore urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:57886 2007-10-03T05:32:16Z 2007-10-03T05:53:45Z I'm used to being alone<br />Except for six month flings with diamond rings<br />And phone bills that outweigh the phone<br />This is the life that I chose<br />I got no complaints if he is<br />If he ain't, and if he is I guess he'll send me a rose<br /><br />Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to lie honey<br />And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key<br />Some folks seem to think I only got one problem<br />I can't find nobody as crazy as me<br /><br />I still love what I know<br />I love to ride alone and sing a song and listen to the radio<br />You can ride along and if you change your mind, well<br />That's just fine, but there's somethin' that you got to know<br /><br />Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to lie honey<br />And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key<br />Some folks seem to think I only got one problem<br />I can't find nobody as crazy as me<br /><br /><br /><br />i finally figured out what i have such an attachment to you. <br />you were the last person i let myself love. <br />and now it will never again come easy. <br />i dont know the answer but i know who to blame. <br />it doesn't have to be this way. <br /><br />this ache in my chest and this worn out song won't go away.<br /><br /><br /><br />Sometimes I wonder where you’re coming from <br />when you roll in like thunder just to turn around and run…<br />it’s a good thing I don’t need you to stay<br /><br />You smell like moonlight in early morning rain<br />Pray tell a fool might surrender to your pain<br />Or find a cure for your decay urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:57843 2007-09-22T04:33:54Z 2007-09-22T04:33:54Z i'll drive out and find you. <br />if you forget my love i'll try and remind you. <br /><br />it's not coming easy. <br />why is this so damn hard. <br /><br />sometimes i wonder if i'm walking in the wrong direction.<br /><br />i don't even know whrere to begin.<br />but i want it to end.<br /><br /><br /><br />i hate money cuz it makes me numb. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:57573 2007-09-06T04:50:00Z 2007-09-06T04:50:00Z . urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:57197 2007-08-11T23:18:42Z 2007-08-11T23:18:42Z in days of suffering, we have to be spiritually minded<br />or the pain will eat you alive. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:56836 2007-07-11T06:28:55Z 2007-07-11T06:28:55Z Activities: cooking, adventuring, dancing, divergent thinking, google texting<br /><br />Interests: nashville (the city lights and the people), holding hands, helping people, irony, the rock quarry, St. Augustine, sharing umbrellas, grits, steel guitars, Visage de la Paix, Nelson Mandela/ South Africa, pecans, vh1 and cherry coke, social learning theories IE social cognitivism, white grape cherry juice/ cherries period, red spanish influenced ceramic roofing tiles, party sirens (in songs or real life), chicago deep dish pizza, chinatowns in general, the south, side ponys but not side braids, the calphalon brand, high endorphin levels, pesto, red accent pieces and/or accessories IE shoes, handtowels, doors, the flavor: "peach", on-line scrabble, the events and the ideals of the year 1968, south carolina, daniel pryor, canned peas, cornbread, apricot pale ale, vip tents<br /><br />Favorite Music: fool's gold records, something corporate, "indian outlaw" by tim mcgraw<br /><br />Favorite TV Shows: the ellen show, greys anatomy, designing women, the office, the hills, tyler's ultimate, paula's home cooking<br /><br />Favorite Movies: days of thunder<br /><br />Favorite Books: "this is what we are all dying for- something that demands we step up and become better, more focused people. something that calls out the greatness that we hope is somewhere inside of us."<br /><br />Favorite Quotes: “Just because you played Mr. Freeze doesn’t mean you have to care about melting polar icecaps.”<br />-Stephen Colbert on Arnold Schwarzenegger<br /><br />"I just wanna listen to Rihanna" <br /><br />"i need more margaritas.. and dena carter in my life." <br /><br />About Me: In 77 and 69, revolution was in the air. I was born too late and to a world that doesn't care <br /><br />i'll pretty much be gone the entire month of july on my "north vs. south" journey to freedom. i'll be sharing bright skies, dark nights, hot beats and cold drinks with the ones i love. <br /><br />over the past week i: lived with molly gee, spent money like i was a baller, hung out with the sov, rode bikes in central park lily allen style singing variations of MIA and the chili peppers, purchased some picasso: note: also wonderful things involving bowling,questionable prostitutes, fireworks in the rain, wonderful talks in the park, sprinkles, grilled cheese, 4am hot dog, and the NYFD.<br /><br />"i know everybody's in the same mess.. i'm tellin you we all are. i know that. i'll be the first to tell you i'm a mess but god is dealin with me everyday. everyday i'm tryin to learn how i can be less of a mess."<br /><br />:) <br /><br />EDIT: this is not part of my profile.. but..<br />life is too good right now. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:56578 2007-06-25T22:54:54Z 2007-06-25T22:54:54Z buried beneath it all.. it hurts a lot to grow up. because we're all growing apart. <br />is this just how it is?<br /><br />I never wanted to say this.. but you never wanted to stay. <br />I put my faith in you (so much faith) and then you just threw it away.<br /><br />I'm not so naïve.<br />please don't let it take us down.<br /><br /><br />it's a pretty bad day. <br />what a shame. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:56349 2007-06-24T17:34:09Z 2007-06-24T17:34:09Z so right this second emotion and utter excitement are racing through my body. i want to scream and laugh and dance because right this second i'm at the same time remembering and experiencing how it feels to have the happiness of the holy spirit exploding inside of me. now, don't turn away because of the cheesiness of that statement. if you're like me.. hearing words like that are SUCH a turn off.. like this one guy i knew would be talking about how he was having a bad day but because "jesus is still the king on the throne", it was a good day. and then this bible study leader told us last week that she knew knew a girl that would schedule dates with jesus in her planner IE.. hey it's friday night and we're goin out.. and the girl would say "oh, i can't. i have a date with jesus." those statements want to make me slit my wrists. and not because i don't believe them and i HATE that it rubs my in such the wrong way but for some reason it seems fake.. and it's like. why are you being SO over the top!? who are you trying to impress.. ok, wow.. <br /><br />back to the importance of what the hek is going on in my brain and heart right now.<br />so, over the past week i've been going through a jesus explosion. in the best way. like a revolution. and i've been praying a bit more/ period.. and today i feel such peace and excitement. let me tell ya.. so i have no idea what the heck i'm doing after i guaduate. i have so many desires and goals but for some reason i'm just stuck and everywhere seems like a dead end whether it's financially, geographically, etc. so recently i've been all about going to culinary school after i graduate. and if you know anything about me, you know that i love to cook and it's pretty obnoxious. so i thought, hm that's be pretty perfect. not the normal 9-5.. i refuse to have a 9-5 and sort files and type date in my cubicle. and i could go to a city on the coast to do so. DONE. well.. today i was doing some work in the beth moore book and read this "Opposition is anything that opposes (1) us, (2) the work that God desires to do in us, and (3) the work God desires to do through us. [here's the kicker] Opposion may not even appear oppositional! It may be something that feeds our fleshly pride but opposes everything about who we are in Christ."<br /><br />interesting. <br /><br />THEN i changed paces and scenery.. was laying out at the pool reading a book i started about a year ago by john piper.. and he's talking about Paul's ministry.. and how his entire ministry centered around helping people fight for joy. seriously, being completely happy is so hard for me. i feel like i'm constantly fighting and struggling for joy.. which again (of course) i read about today.. "maintaining joy in God takes 'work'; that is, it's a fight against every impulse for alien joys and every obstical in the way to seeing and savoring Christ."<br /><br />AND <br />for some reason i've saved every daily email devotional that has to do with the Lord being close to those that call on Him and being foreigners in the land of Egypt and the Holy Spirit helping us in distress.. etc. <br /><br />THEN this group of little kids come to the pool and they're laughing and are so happy to be alive and licking pool water and screaming "cannonball" when the little 3 year old has no idea what that even means..<br /><br />and it all kinda clicked. helping others find joy is my joy. that's what my heart desires. though i love cooking and it calms me down and is freeing in such a way i cannot even explain, that's not how i'm going to further the kingdom. my desire is to help the broken hearted find joy and peace in god because nothing else will ever satisfy us. i want to splash with kids in the pool and help those that are weak and desperately need the mercy of God. <br /><br />"Today when you hear his voice,<br />don't harden your hearts<br />as Israel did when they rebelled,<br />when they TESTED me in the wilderness...<br /><br />Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters.* Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. You must warn each other every day, while it is still "today," so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ."<br /><br />hebrews 3<br /><br />and it's only 12:29pm. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:56279 2007-06-17T03:57:05Z 2007-06-17T15:22:19Z When Godly People Do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore<br /><br />"My specific prayer.. is that God will use this message to remind a battered and bruised believer how loved he is and how much the Father longs for his complete restoration. We have never gone so far that we can't come home."<br /><br />steal our hearts and consume our minds with Your truth. <br />we are otherwise dreadfully at risk of seduction.<br />expose Your child's vicious enemy and any ground he or she has unknowingly surrendered to him. <br />rise to Your feet and fight on behalf of Your BELOVED CHILD.<br />redeem every single hit and every single hurt caused by the enemy of souls. <br /><br />2 Cor 11:3<br /><br />2 Timothy 3<br />The Dangers of the Last Days<br />1 You should know this, Timothy, that in the last days there will be very difficult times.2 For people will love only themselves and their money. They will be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents, and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred.3 They will be unloving and unforgiving; they will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good.4 They will betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God.5 They will act religious, but they will reject the power that could make them godly. <br /><br />What does the approach of the end have to do with godly people falling before a satanic assualt? everything. The closer the calender draws to Christ's return and the devil's crushing defeat, the more furious he becomes. who are the chief targets of satan's even-increasing fury? we are.<br /><br />many people who by the grace of god have never been had by the devil, wrongly assume that all departures from godliness are nothing but defiance, rebellion, and proofs of inauthenticity. they have NO IDEA of the suffering involved when someone with a genuine HEART FOR GOD slips from the path.<br /><br />this is all just one day of reading. my mind is being blown and my heart.. while it's breaking.. is being mended. like, a bone that has to be broken before it can be fixed and heal completely.. one small step at a time.<br /><br />Also, there's an album called Instant Karma: The Amnesty International Campaign to Save Darfur.. and it's an album of John Lennon covers (artists such as Lenny Kravitz, Jakob Dylan, Aerosmith and Sierra Leone's Refugee All-Stars, Black Eyed Peas, Jack Johnson, Ben harper, The Postal Service, The Flaming Lips, Jack's Mannequin ft. Mick Fleetwood.. those are just SOME) benefiting Darfur...seriously.. it's a beautiful album and SO worth buying and i never buy music. also, buy Paramore's new CD.. no one should go on living another day without it. <br /><br />the next few weeks should be interesting. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:55995 2007-06-01T07:23:19Z 2007-06-01T07:23:19Z india.arie - better people (repeat) right now i'm so tired but i feel like i owe it to this little space to offer glimmer of happiness. (something other than monotone voices.) today was the first day i was completely and entirely happy. i've been so discontent with people and places and the entirety of my life. but summer is here and i'm sick of being so dark. i was sinking and losing myself and everyone around me (i'm sorry i've been pushing you so far away). but there was something brilliant about today. nothing special happened, but i saw a glimmer... something different about the day and ran with it. and i was happy. i laughed and meant it. i sang and i felt it. i could smell the sunshine. i was surrounded by love and i embraced it, and undeservingly received it.<br /><br />and for the first time in months-<br />i'm excited about tomorrow.<br /><br />this is how it's supposed to be. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:55606 2007-05-24T06:54:29Z 2007-05-24T06:54:29Z Something's in the air tonight<br />The sky's alive with a burning light<br />You can mark my words something's about to break<br /><br />And I found myself in a bitter fight<br />While I've held your hand through the darkest night<br />Don't know where you're coming from but you're coming soon<br /><br />Come on and we'll sing, like we were free<br />Push the pedal down watch the world around fly by us <br />Come on and we'll try, one last time<br />I'm off the floor one more time to find you<br />And here we go there's nothing left to choose<br />And here we go there's nothing left to lose<br /><br />And I don't know how hard this wind will blow<br />Or where we'll go urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:55540 2007-05-05T08:14:56Z 2007-05-05T08:14:56Z "you sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you from your old ways.. <br />here he comes! he doesn't look a thing like jesus, but he talks like a gentleman. like you imagined when you were young."<br /><br />.. but maybe tonights just not our night. <br />i miss us and it's all falling though. <br /><br /><br /><br />i'll be on the east coast for a week.<br />me, jack johnson, and the sunny shoreline .<br />not thinking. not worrying. not here. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:55075 2007-04-27T05:07:19Z 2007-04-27T05:07:19Z i can't feel. <br />for the past for weeks.. months.. i've been entirely numb. <br />all i can feel are my driftwood deadweight legs. my feet are so heavy and tired, carrying my body around.<br />yet they press no harder on the right metal pedal. it's the same monotonous speed from red light green light, city limit sign stop sign, point A point B. <br />my eyes zone out with the rest of my brain. and all i can see is the orange and white roadside barrier and the shoreline lighthouse it portrays with its flashing circles and florescent high beam reflectors. <br />my body gets tighter and tighter and heavier. and then i wake up and i'm somewhere else. <br />my body feels like it's been hit by a cannon. and all i can do it lay there.<br /><br />it used to help to write but writing and thinking only digs the hole deeper. when i think about it, i sink lower than where i began. but i don't know where it begins and with that there is no end. i don't know what i'm running from. i don't know why i'm hiding. i wish i know. god i wish i knew. i swear i would face it and try and beat it. i'm not the one to give up but i swear right now- hand me a white flag and my arms couldn't lift high enough for one wave much less a battle, if necessary. <br /><br />i feel entirely alone and empty and scared.<br />this isn't the first time. it's a reoccurring nightmare that after a few months fades away. <br />i'm sick of the sound of settling. the sound of silence. <br />my body doesn't listen when my brain tell my lips "it could be worse".<br />this is not me. <br />i'm dying. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:54906 2007-04-15T22:08:07Z 2007-04-15T22:11:10Z mg turned 21 and i turned the happiest i've been in a while.<br />school is overwhelming. life is overwhelming.<br />do whatever it takes to keep you holding on.<br />and at 5:04pm i'm doin quite alright. <br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a239/jamieandamanda/DSC06019.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a239/jamieandamanda/DSC06017.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a239/jamieandamanda/DSC06102.jpg" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><br />i'm way too sad that this girl is gone. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:54646 2007-04-12T15:37:22Z 2007-04-12T15:37:22Z <a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i12.photobucket.com/albums/a239/jamieandamanda/l_bc7d47c5981f99025a1d40e8347d2ac5.gif" border="0" alt="Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket"></a><br /><br />So Huston come in, my heart has bled out of control<br />and I'm not, I'm not willing to bled anymore<br />so fill me in and speed this process please<br />cause in the end its time that will be the death of me<br /><br />Please remove yourself from on high<br />you're no saint I know cause I've<br />lived in your house of lies it<br />it twists it bends it breaks but it still stands<br /><br />so don't tell me a thing and don't<br />apologize cause' I was in need of more<br /><br />I would love to pack up and leave if<br />for once it meant that I'd, I'd be<br />clear and free mentally<br />I'll show none cause' none was shown to me urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:54445 2007-04-07T21:18:33Z 2007-04-07T21:18:33Z sebastiAn colabo'd with timbaland not once, but twice on 'shock value'.. which is easily one of the best albums of the year.<br /><br />and i cannot wait.. next weekend!#$%**!! good lord. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:54180 2007-03-19T20:00:54Z 2007-03-19T20:03:00Z i'm fighting repetition. god i'm losing, it's always the same. <br />i'm thinking that taking a chance would do us all some good. <br />i'm distracted by the thought of something better. of anything better. everything is better.<br />i don't know what i'm doing or where i'm going. <br />get me out of here.<br />i miss the bluest skies, her royal canopy. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:53950 2007-03-08T17:26:54Z 2007-03-08T17:26:54Z seriously get AWAY from ME urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:53658 2007-03-01T03:43:20Z 2007-03-01T03:47:29Z "send him a steamy text during the workday that lets him know how much you're dying to get your hands on him. While you're sweating it out on the stairmaster at the gym, fantasize about a hot ecounter you've had with your man. Next time you see him you'll be raring to pounce."<br /><br />"cooking with your man might make up for a more satisfying relationship... nearly 83% of survey respondents who said they "always" cook together (3-7 times per week) rated their relationship as excellent, compared with only 26% who said they rarely or never do. The heat reaches into the bedroom: 58% of couples who often cook together said they were satified with their sex lives, compared with 30% who don't. "Cooking enhances a relationship becvause is involves all your senses"...<br /><br />-womens health mag<br /><br />just casual reading at the gym.<br />oh god. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:53424 2007-02-25T01:56:52Z 2007-02-25T01:56:52Z the room spins. pull you from me. my body burns.<br /><br />i can do this. and we can do this. it's real and we fit. <br />memories don't go away. this doesn't just go away.<br /><br />and i'm afraid of a lot of things. and a i'm unsure of a lot of things. and there's always insecurities and rocky ground. and a lot of times life isn't pretty and life isn't fun , but so many times.. i've looked at you and life has been the most beautiful scenery my eyes have ever seen. <br /><br />and now we join each other in the pain and confusion. and we're learning. and i'm okay with all that. <br />i'm past the distance, i'm over how it might feel to see you. those feelings.. the wonderfully happy and sad and peaceful feelings that are my fresh air.. no, not over them. but past the selfishness of holding onto them so tight, they keep me from you. because i have to see you. and i need you.. and i want you. in whatever aspect that is.<br /><br />(I remember feeling like a ship <br />whose captain was too drunk to steer <br />and you watched as I was sinking <br />waving sadly from the pier)<br /><br />i'll be here and you'll be there and my will is strong.<br />i always want to get you.. whether or not i can have you.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />and tread softly because you tread on my dreams.<br /><br />please. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:53198 2007-02-06T00:04:03Z 2007-02-06T00:04:03Z it's amazing how a cute pair of underwear can brighten your whole day. <br />:) urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:52913 2007-02-04T08:03:11Z 2007-02-04T08:03:11Z "Its hard to know when to give up the fight<br />Two things you want will just never be right<br />Its never rained like it has tonight before<br /><br />Now I don't wanna beg you baby<br />For something maybe you could never give<br /><br />I'm not looking for the rest of your life<br />I just want another chance to live<br /><br />strange how hard it rains now."<br /><br /><br /><br />it's crazy how many times blurry vision has seen that stretch of 24.<br />yet it makes perfect sense.<br />i'm gonna get him fly.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:52504 2007-01-31T23:02:15Z 2007-02-01T03:58:47Z so comfortable. so familiar. so sweet. so close. so innocent. so happy. so natural. so precious. so real.<br /><br /><br /><br />At the end of the day when it comes down to it<br />all we really want is to be close to somebody<br />so this thing where we all keep our distance<br />then pretend not care about each other<br />its usually a load of bull.<br /><br />.. and we all think we're going to be great.<br />and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren't met.<br />but sometimes our expactations sell us short.<br />sometimes the expected pailes in comparison to the unexpected.<br />you've got to wonder why we cling to our expectations.<br />because the expected is just what keeps us steady. standing. still.<br />the expected is just the beginning.<br />the unexpected is what changes our lives.<br /><br /><br />so unexpected. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:52368 2007-01-29T16:35:22Z 2007-01-29T16:35:22Z you decided this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:and_she_loved:51979 2007-01-22T01:36:18Z 2007-01-22T01:36:18Z accidental babies- damien rice it took me losing you completely to find you entirely.